Professor “Chops” Bronson

SketchbookJack Daily Mobster character design gangster illustration black and white ink tweed retro glasses vintage swag shag mutton chops 70s 60s cartoon comic black turtleneck tweed jacket polaroid ink pen concept art webcomic humor writing poetry poem comedy portrait mugshot chops bronson

Professor “Chops” Bronson

(In the style of a mad, groovy, funk beat sung by a shirtless rocker)

In between teaching English lit,
he’s with the mob, can you dig it?

Drivin’ to the high school, list’nin’ to funk,
with Mickey “The Mole”, stuffed in his trunk.

Grading papers, dancin’  the blues,
after pourin’ Mickey new cement shoes.

Who would have known, he’s a ruthless killer,
while he casually reads Arthur Miller.

(Chorus)
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Baby, oh yeah.
Twain, London and Dickenson
Riding in his sixty nine Grem-lin
Drugs, Extortion and Hemmingway
What can he say, it’s really great pay!
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Baby, oh yeah.

On the way to the hideout, he’s always swerving
too busy reading Washington Irving.

Drops off a shipment of a kilo of blow
Then right back to Edgar Allen Poe.

This contract work is totally radical,
lots of income while on sabbatical.

(Chorus)
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Baby, oh yeah.
Twain, London and Dickenson
Riding in his sixty nine Grem-lin
Drugs, Extortion and Hemmingway
What can he say, it’s really great pay!
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Baby, oh yeah.

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“Smoggy” Al Crocker

daily_mobster_sketchbookjack_smoggy_al_crocker_mechanic_cartoon_illustration_character

“Smoggy” Al Crocker

Cough, cough, wheeze wheeze,

oh such relief and ease.

Off to the chop shop we go!

Need a new license plate, let us know.

Want a few numbers filed off your vin?

Sure, no problem, come on in.

Need your trunk recovered and new?

Pull on up, drive on through.

Want a few thousand miles on the old meter back?

Bring it on over, we’ll take a crack.

No fuss, no hassle, no fret, no haggle.

If you do you might get strangled

And don’t complain about the stench,

or you might get clonked with a wrench

Sniff, sniff, hack hack.

Thanks for coming, don’t come back.

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Sketchbook Jack

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