Rhett Stetson

rhett stetson cowboy mobster gangster bandit cigar cartoon comic character design illustration black and white sketchbookjack mustache sheriff

Rhett Stetson

(In the style of a folk ballad story)

Once you leave town and head to the west
You best know you’re puttin’, life to the test.
Crossing over, the highway nine
deep in the country, past the pines.
Watch out boys, when you hear that gun,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson.

Ain’t no laws, ain’t no rules,
do as he says, son, don’t be a fool.
Give him yer cash, give her liquor,
or you’ll be gone, quicker than a flicker.
Once he’s done here, get on the run,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson.

Pay up the toll for crossing his road,
hell, just for bein’ in his postal code.
open the trunk, better let him inspect,
is there anything he’d like to collect?
Alright, oh-kay, we’re almost done,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson.

You can cry, whelp, even harangue
but at the end of the day, he took every-thang.
Now, don’t you think to try and tattle,
he’s got all them cops, rounded up like cattle.
Alright git goin’, ride to the sun,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson

Edgar “The Egg” Egmond

edgar the egg egmond daily mobster gangster character design illustration sketchbookjack

Edgar “Egg” Egmond

(In the alliterative key of E)

Every evil event expects exoneration.

Enter: Edgar “Egg” Egmond.

Exactingly, elegantly, erasing evidence,

evaluating, expunging every entry,

Edgar elicits eventual extenuation.

Escaping extraditions, eschewing edicts,

even evading examining experts.

Effectively, efficiently, expertly,

“Egghead Edgar” exempts everyone.

Ex-cons, evildoers, enduring endless

exposition, eventually evade enforcement,

egregiously eluding examination.

Exit: Edgar, effortlessly.

Candy Cane Jane

daily mobster character illustration candy cane jane lady victorian hat stripes bow

Jane “Candy” Cane

(In the cautionary style of Rod Serling)

Sweet and sassy is lovely Mrs. Cane.

She lives with “The Candyman” on Candy Cane Lane.

Dressed to the nines in her striped bow and hat,

but quieter than an alley cat and slyer than a rat.

Strolling round town, like she hasn’t a care

then off to her house, “visitor beware.”

The windows are pink and the doors are all white,

but don’t let the paint cover up the dark fright.

All of the rooflines are deckled and shaped,

seems no one goes in who has ever escaped.

The warm glowing lights are a dainty facade,

for this “sweet” couple is terrible odd.

Some say they’re mobsters, and others say it not,

I’d suggest stay away, whatever you thought.

“Rat” Hampton

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“Rat” Hampton

Rat! Rat! I smell a rat!

A rat in a coat, scarf and hat!

Secrets! Secrets! Keep them away,

all the “Rat” does is lead you astray.

Snitch! Snitch! I spy a snitch!

Don’t let him do the ol’ bait’n’switch

Fink! Fink! I hear a fink!

Don’t ever tell him what you think.

Hush! Hush! Don’t be too vocal.

Watch out for “Rat,” the town snitch local.

For Illustration Friday‘s “Vocal”

The Bowler

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The Bowler

No one knows who he works for or what he does.

“The Bowler” has been seen walking down allies at night.

He was last seen in a bowler hat, bowling shoes,

a black suit, polka dot tie, and carrying two bowling balls.

Maybe he carries a second one as a spare?

There has been a rash of vandalism in the area,

mostly “downed gutters” reported.

Houses with the address 710 have been split in half!

Houses numbered 300 have reported

“random acts of fine gardening”

and “gold rings left upon doorsteps.”

He has no record so we can’t call foul,

but let’s call this one a strike.

“Lucky” Greene

Happy Early St. Patrick’s Day.

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“Lucky” Greene

The given name to “Lucky” was Chance.

Ironic, consider his finance.

He rolls out the dice,

the house pays the price,

And “Lucky” does a jig of a dance.

It’s strange “Lucky” is his nick name.

As luck did not for his fame.

It’s just in logistics,

he figures statistics,

and magically wins every game.

“Lucky” ran, left his winnings behind,

But what made him change up his mind?

The house took no loss,

he was caught by the Boss,

for playing his five of a kind.

Benny Bass

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Benny Bass

Ah Benny Bass, the final member of “The Barbershop Quartet”.

Strangely, there are only three members.

Benny got lucky. His surname defined his career path.

It’s Bass, not Bass, and don’t mistake it.

His daddy was “Big Mouth” Bass,

and his mama was “Washtub Bass.”

The whole family is a bit, tightly strung.

They don’t fret over slappin‘ a Bass, poppin‘ a Bass or

beatin’ the bagatelle outta you with some brass.

He hits the lowest note ever registered, the low R flat.

Benny looks good in his barbershop suit; he calls

himself the “Striped” Bass.

Like I said, it’s Bass, not Bass. How many

times did you say Bass and not Bass?

Barry “Baritone”

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Barry “Baritone”

Barry inherited the barbershop from Great Uncle Arpeggio.

There is minor modulation in his monotone mumbles.

It’s unclear if he is even aware of the ongoings

of “The Barbershop Quartet” gang, because

the coppers tried a lie detector and his answers always

came out the same.  They even tried a micro-expressionist

but his face never changed.

If nothing else, they’ve got Barry for association,

or acting as a drone. But, if I had to guess his association with the gang,

I bet Barry just cuts hair

and hits a mean middle C.

See The Daily Mobster Process of Barry “Baritone” by SketchbookJack

Timmy “Tenor”

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Timmy “Tenor”

Take note or at least a quarter note.

Timmy is the tenor in the crime gang known as

“The Barbershop Quartet.”

He keeps his razors like he hits his high G, sharp.

You always know when Timmy gets to work;

He doesn’t know when to come in and can’t find the key.

At the bar, Timmy sits by the register and

drinks a duet of coda water and tonic.

Be careful when you ask for a close shave,

people have gone missing before.

This guy is treble, I mean trouble.

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