Old Cal Calhoun

old cal daily mobster sketchbookjack

Old Cal Calhoun

Cal is old.  He has never had another nickname because he

has always been older than everyone.

There is no one that can actually verify his age.

His glasses cause accidents, and mass ant burnings.

Cal has conversations with his knees and elbows.

He tells them to do things, but they don’t listen.

Cal’s memory is in black and white, and silent.

Cal used to rob banks in his heyday; and by heyday I mean

when banks were a chest at the foot of your bed.

In his most recent attempts, the police politely escort

him out the door before he can pull out his bow and arrow.

Harold “The Head”

harold the head daily mobster sketchbookjack

Harold “The Head”

This is Harold. We don’t talk about his head.

He doesn’t wear hats.

I mean, his hair is even having trouble holding on for dear life.

He has a second mattress for a pillow.

He is deathly afraid of billiard halls.

The Aztecs pray to him for blotting out the sun.

You’d think he would be the brains behind the operation,

or maybe keep the books.  No, that’s not what he does.

Harold is the distraction.

He keeps those coppers busy.

(An Illustration Friday Special for the “Round” theme)

“Top Hat” O’Malley

tophat omalley sketchbookjack dailymobster

“Top Hat” O’Malley

They say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it

sure does buy some sleaze.  “Tophat” is shrewd.

He plays three card monte with one card.

He once negotiated a homeless man

out of a wooden nickle and his teeth.

He’s all brains above the brim.  I’ve seen him

without the hat, trust me, it’s not a good sight.

He packs a single round pistol under that jacket

for when he can’t seal the deal.

Edna “The Hump” Malone

edna the hump malone daily mobster sketchbookjack

Edna “The Hump” Malone

Edna is a looker, that’s for sure.

She can smoke fourteen cigarettes at a time.

A waiter once tried to put his tray on her back and

asked a busboy to help push her against a two top.

Edna has a sharp side, as if you couldn’t tell.

Maybe I should say a round side.

She packs a mean left hook,

and quite possibly a backpack under that dress.

Charlie Chins

charlie chins sketchbookjack daily mobster

Charlie Chins

Charlie eats alone.

He has knocked a few people out while chewing.

When he looks up, it looks like he has no face.

To get his shirt off, he has to unbutton them all the way.

Charlie has been blackballed from eighteen dentist offices.

Chins runs around with the Calhoun gang.

He’s been jailed for nine counts of slack-jawin,

six counts of involuntary jaw droppin, and

one count of first degree assault with a lethal chin.

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