Frau Katze

Frau Frauline Katze katzen crazy old german cat lady with a world war 1 wwi helmet spike and a luger gun daily mobster mugshot gangster illustration cartoon comic drawing sketchbookjack

Frau Katze
(In the style of a Hogan’s Hero)

As ze mob takes over ze city,
up pops a defense committee.
in spite of ze smite, zey take up ze fight,
und vow to show zem no pity.

Hauser Street is ze old lady’s club,
Watch out! Get down! Hind ze shrub!
She’s a pouncing cougar, ready with her Luger,
find another way home from ze pub.

Ze members of ze group all have cats,
wartime weapons, outfits und hats.
Dressed to ze nines, on ze front lines,
defending zeir houses und flats.

Ze Katze Club moves in on ze land,
it’s going according to plan.
When no one is home, zey sack it like Rome,
Six blocks are back in command.

When mobsters just can’t be coerced,
zey know how to make zem disperse.
Zey get zem all sick, brats laced with arsenic,
death by sausage, oh, it’s ze wurst.

Zey won’t rest till ze town is at ease,
and ze city is ridded of sleaze.
Till zen zey strap on ze heat, and hit ze street,
a new meaning to crazy cat ladies.

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Porter Jones

daily mobster bellhop porter cartoon character design gangster illustration

Porter Jones

Hey porter, hey porter, can you lend a man a hand?

Help me in, and set me up, this hotel here’s rather grand!

Hey bellhop, hey bellhop, can carry this here bag?

But be easy on it, its worth a lot, but I really don’t mean to brag.

Hey doorman, hey doorman,  I don’t have a tip for you,

I don’t have have much, so a thanks will just have to do!

Hey bellman, hey bellman, I can’t seem to find my key!

Would you do me a kindness and open my door for me?

Hey deskman, hey deskman, need to speak to the manager now!

 Someone broke in my room, and I just can’t figure out how.

Hey manager, hey boss, what kind of place are you running here?

I lock my room, but when I come back, everythings-a disappear.

And a tip of the hat to Johnny Cash

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