Candy Cane Jane

daily mobster character illustration candy cane jane lady victorian hat stripes bow

Jane “Candy” Cane

(In the cautionary style of Rod Serling)

Sweet and sassy is lovely Mrs. Cane.

She lives with “The Candyman” on Candy Cane Lane.

Dressed to the nines in her striped bow and hat,

but quieter than an alley cat and slyer than a rat.

Strolling round town, like she hasn’t a care

then off to her house, “visitor beware.”

The windows are pink and the doors are all white,

but don’t let the paint cover up the dark fright.

All of the rooflines are deckled and shaped,

seems no one goes in who has ever escaped.

The warm glowing lights are a dainty facade,

for this “sweet” couple is terrible odd.

Some say they’re mobsters, and others say it not,

I’d suggest stay away, whatever you thought.

The Ghost of Jacob Mobster

the daily mobster - ghost of jacob mobster - charles dickens

The Ghost of Jacob Mobster

(In the style of a pompous Englishman)

Chains were rattling, on Christmas Eve night.

A ghost was to come and give quite a fright.

Carrying the weight for all of his crimes,

punished as a ghost, forever, all times.

To warn all the crooks, thieves and burg-lars.

and tell the story of a life behind bars.

Screaming, wailing, crying in the street,

hoping that no one would be his repeat.

No robbing, no stealing, extortion no more,

or pain and suffering would be in store.

While families all gather, in peace for one night

a repentant reminder, he’s just out of sight.

While Santa brings gifts to good kids on his list,

Jacob clutches the naughties, tight in his fist.

His chains are dragging, marking the snow,

to remind us, he came, he hopes we all know.

%d bloggers like this: