Little Margie Mason

Little Margie Mason

Sing a song of schoolyards.

You’d think she’s awfully shy,

but Little Margie Mason

made them all cry.

Glue was on the desk chair,

tacks were in the shoes,

sticky candy in their hair,

who should they accuse?

The coppers called her daddy,

cuz teacher’s at a loss,

but Mr. Daddy Mason

was a mob man boss.

So the teacher and the children

put up with her sass,

because Little Margie Mason

owns this class.

Sylvia “Shoulders” Smithe

Sylvia “Shoulders” Smithe

Oh, Sylvia, Darling.

Sylvia gives a new meaning to the term, “Broad.”

She always has to wear shoulder-less, strapless outfits.

I have heard of stepping into a dress to fit, but she

sometimes has to wear it upside down.

Sylvia always has a cold shoulder.

The boys try to warm her up and offer their jackets,

but she won’t fit.

She is very specific about where she goes on dates;

it can’t be anywhere that will be shoulder to shoulder.

That can be a bit tricky with her.

One thing is for sure, though, Sylvia would be a great

shoulder to cry on for someone….or several someones.

But enough about her shoulders, she is just trying to

find a good guy that would be a great match,

you know, someone shaped like a pyramid.

Benny Bass

Benny Bass

Ah Benny Bass, the final member of “The Barbershop Quartet”.

Strangely, there are only three members.

Benny got lucky. His surname defined his career path.

It’s Bass, not Bass, and don’t mistake it.

His daddy was “Big Mouth” Bass,

and his mama was “Washtub Bass.”

The whole family is a bit, tightly strung.

They don’t fret over slappin‘ a Bass, poppin‘ a Bass or

beatin’ the bagatelle outta you with some brass.

He hits the lowest note ever registered, the low R flat.

Benny looks good in his barbershop suit; he calls

himself the “Striped” Bass.

Like I said, it’s Bass, not Bass. How many

times did you say Bass and not Bass?

Twirly Tammy

Twirly Tammy

That’s just lovely, lovey.

Like totally Mister, I love, love, love that picture.

You, know the one, like, with that guy who falls in love

with that curly-haired girl.  It’s so super cute.

I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to buy me a drink.

I will totally pretend to like love it, even if it’s nasty.

Do you think my hair looks cute tonight?

What about my dress, it’s totally me, isn’t it?

Tell me something smart that will, like, totally make

my mind boggle.  But not too much, I just ate,

only a little though, just half a muffin.

Did I ask you if you like my hair? Cute, huh?

Another Illustration Friday Special for the theme: “Twirl”

Barry “Baritone”

Barry “Baritone”

Barry inherited the barbershop from Great Uncle Arpeggio.

There is minor modulation in his monotone mumbles.

It’s unclear if he is even aware of the ongoings

of “The Barbershop Quartet” gang, because

the coppers tried a lie detector and his answers always

came out the same.  They even tried a micro-expressionist

but his face never changed.

If nothing else, they’ve got Barry for association,

or acting as a drone. But, if I had to guess his association with the gang,

I bet Barry just cuts hair

and hits a mean middle C.

See The Daily Mobster Process of Barry “Baritone” by SketchbookJack

Timmy “Tenor”

Timmy “Tenor”

Take note or at least a quarter note.

Timmy is the tenor in the crime gang known as

“The Barbershop Quartet.”

He keeps his razors like he hits his high G, sharp.

You always know when Timmy gets to work;

He doesn’t know when to come in and can’t find the key.

At the bar, Timmy sits by the register and

drinks a duet of coda water and tonic.

Be careful when you ask for a close shave,

people have gone missing before.

This guy is treble, I mean trouble.

“Left” & “Right” Morgain

Lucy “Left” & Rita “Right” Morgain

Just as promised, Mad Ma’s girls made an appearance.

Notice I said “children” in Ma’s profile;

I didn’t want to scare you.

Do you have a thread and needle?  Because they’re ripped.

Their favorite exercises are curls.

Lucy and Rita are twins.

Lucy is younger by just twelve seconds, only because she

got clothes-lined by Rita in the race to be first.

Ma was hoping for boys so she could have

personal bodyguards, but I think she lucked out.

As soon as Ma gives the word, they do the dirty work.

Rita and Lucy keep getting arrested, you know…for those guns.

Mad Ma Morgain

Mad Ma Morgain

Watch out now.  Hide your hard candies and

turn up the volume on the radio.

Mad Ma Morgain is back in town and this time

her hair pins are in extra tight and

she brought her children, better known as

her left and right arms.

If we’re lucky we’ll get a look at “Left & Right”

She just gives the nod and it shall be done.

If that doesn’t work, she knows how to

make your life miserable behind the scenes.

So make sure you put out the blue sugar packets

and the jam better be seedless or you just

might end up on the brass end of her cane.

Guest Artist: Fish-eyed “Willie”

Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in on this fine Monday morning. It’s our first Guest Artist Mobster! This one was done by Carlos Gomez who also dabbles in the crazy world of Flash games, apps, mobile development and photography.  He also keeps the web comic Robots-n-Aliens.

Fish-eyed “Willie”

This guy is quite the goon but you might have to blame his parents.

Fish-eyed is his given name, “Willie” is his nickname.

He has really great peripheral vision on his left side.

When he looks in a circus fun house mirror, he looks normal.

His uncle ships him cigars which he smuggles into town.

The coppers have caught him eight times.

Fish-eyed falls apart in interrogation; he has a terrible poker face.

His mugshot is posted by the cash registers at optometrist offices.

He has a fresh shipment of Cubans coming in tomorrow and

he might slip this one by them coppers.

The question is Willie or won’t he?

Submitted by guest artist: Carlos Gomez

Are you interested in submitting as a Guest Artist

or perhaps just some fan art? Please do so here!

“Legs” LaVine

“Legs” LaVine

Everyone knows who “Legs” is, but no one

can tell you what his face looks like.

He had a hard time finding a job.

No taxi had a long enough seat, no desk was tall enough.

No factory was safe enough; he was way above clearance.

He once had a job as a lumberjack but too many workers

were trying to cut him down.

He finally got a job as a window washer and he is the best.

He doesn’t even need a ladder until the third floor.

He wears size 32×84 pants; off the rack pants are more like shorts.

He is banned from the basketball court.

The mob boss only has one use for him.

He is the scout man in large crowds.

For Illustration Friday’s theme, “Heights”