“Duct Tape” Dave

duct tape dave mummy mobster gangster character design cartoon comic webcomic daily mobster sketchbookjack ink drawing black and white tied up trick or treat polaroid retro sketch scared“Duct Tape” Dave

Well, well, well, what do you know.

All wrapped up with nowhere to go.

Just like your brother, you just had that itch

a secret, a story, you just had to snitch.

Getting so chummy with the cops, you dummy,

got you all wrapped up like a scummy old mummy.

Unfortunate for you, it’s Halloween,

so you’ll go unnoticed, virtually unseen.

Kids with candy, laughing, wide eyed,

stare back at your eyes, mummified.

Go ahead, just try to escape,

walking is hard when you’re wrapped up in tape.

The next time you go and try to confess,

we’ll run you through the embalming process.

Illustration Friday‘s: Entangled

The Invisible Man

the invisible man bank robber nose glasses disguise fake glasses furry eyebrows hairy moustache mustache cartoon comic character daily mobster gangster retro polaroid mugshot money bag revolver drawing ink black and white wallpaper floating

The Invisible Man

Is he real or is it mass hysteria?
Jewelers, traders and bank tellers
claim to have seen him in the area.
Beware you buyers and sellers.

Sixteen banks were robbed at gunpoint
all by a nobody, wearing a moustache.
Jewelers say he was casing the joint,
then thieving gold, silver and cash.

One has to wonder when your name implies,
that you are indeed, actually transparent
why you would have to wear a disguise.
That just seems incoherent.

Is it then fair, for one to conclude,
aside from the furry nose glass
that you rob the banks in the nude?
Sure a good thing we can’t see your….

I’m not sure which is better
for the front page fodder:
Are you The Invisible Swindler
or the Full Moon Marauder?

For Illustration Friday’s Topic: Moustache

“Bubbles The Snitch”

bubbles underwater drown tied up sleeps with the fishes mobster gangster ropes bound suit 1920s 1930s cartoon comic character deisign black white ink sketchbookjack polaroid retro vintage old shoe rubber ducky blurry distorted humor comedy funny art

“Bubbles The Snitch”
(In the style of a commercial jingle)

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Oh “Bubbles,” you’re such a rotter.
How’s it down there in the water?

You and your brothers
are quite the bothers.
All you stool pigeons
must pay for your sins.
It’s not so nice
to tattle to vice,
now you ain’t got no brass
to cover your ass.

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Bet you are hoping for wishes,
How is it sleeping with the fishes?

You’re  in such a snitching rut,
can’t just keep it shut?
It’s ok, it’s no sweat.
Everyone will soon forget.
No protection and no fame,
we’ll even have to change your name.
They’ll never know if you were poor or rich,
only that you were “Bubbles The Snitch”

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Snitch snitch, what a snake,
how’s the bottom of the lake?

For Illustration Friday’s: Under Water

When Pigs Fly

daily mobster sketchbookjack cartoon comic character design illustration black andw white horse jockey rider racer vintage retro  polaroid mugshot profile striped design

“When Pigs Fly”
(The Style of a Hyper Race Announcer)

And here we go folks, the final lap!
In the lead is It’s A Trap.
Oh Hell Yes is in second place,
Is This Rigged? will make this a close race.

Who’s The Boss is trampling past Paid Off,
making it uncomfortable for To The Left And Cough.
Oh folks! Your Mama Can’t Dance,
you better believe, here comes Fat Chance.

Bringing up the back we got Sleeps With Fishes,
Put those hands together, You Got Three Wishes.
Hope you didn’t put your money on this last guy
slogging behind is When Pigs Fly.

Betting odds are eight hundred to one,
 When Pigs Fly is surely done!
But wait, what’s this, it cannot be!
Your Mama Can’t Dance, she’s got a broken knee!

When Pigs Fly, he Got Three Wishes,
Past Chance, Cough, and Sleeps With Fishes!
This is crazy, it’s the pony express!
Is This Rigged?, Oh Hell Yes!

Can You believe it, eight hundred to one?
Can you believe that jockey just won?
Someone is rich, and now many will cry.
Man oh man, When Pigs Fly.

“The Barman”

daily mobster sketchbookjack character design illustration cartoon comic mugshot vintage retro 1920s 1930s  bartender barman suspenders bowtie towel mug beer glass mustache saloon speakeasy black and white mugshot ink funny humor art

“The Barman”

Coming into town from far around,
all the folks, both clean and sleazy,
Barman, pour another round!
This is a speakeasy, so shhh, speak easy.

Hope you know the password here,
don’t form any lines outside.
Wines, spirits, tonics, beers,
but only if you can get inside.

The bouncer, bar tender, the cigarette vendor,
he’s a one stop libations compound.
When laws are passed that make him an offender,
they take their operation underground.

So drink and be merry, but no need to riot
so check your weapons at the door.
Enjoy, but speak easy, so keep it quiet.
Psst, Barman, can I have another pour?

Dinah Mite

daily mobster dinah mite explosion bomb fire dynamite illustration character design retro vintage burnt edges black and white cartoon comic polaroid sketchbookjack warning spark symbols

Dinah Mite

(In the style of a commercial jingle)

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The loudest member of the gang.

When the vault needs opening,
just give her a shout.
When you see her spark the string,
everyone get out!

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The fiery lady in the gang.

A distraction from the cops,
up in flames and smoke.
The cops, they drop, when they hear the pops,
it’s the perfect hiding cloak.

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The loose cannon in the gang.

But once she fought with the boss,
he told her what to do.
Dinah is no the one to cross,
their relationship is through.

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
Boss will never again harangue.
Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The loudest member of the gang.

For Illustration Friday: Spark

Frau Katze

Frau Frauline Katze katzen crazy old german cat lady with a world war 1 wwi helmet spike and a luger gun daily mobster mugshot gangster illustration cartoon comic drawing sketchbookjack

Frau Katze
(In the style of a Hogan’s Hero)

As ze mob takes over ze city,
up pops a defense committee.
in spite of ze smite, zey take up ze fight,
und vow to show zem no pity.

Hauser Street is ze old lady’s club,
Watch out! Get down! Hind ze shrub!
She’s a pouncing cougar, ready with her Luger,
find another way home from ze pub.

Ze members of ze group all have cats,
wartime weapons, outfits und hats.
Dressed to ze nines, on ze front lines,
defending zeir houses und flats.

Ze Katze Club moves in on ze land,
it’s going according to plan.
When no one is home, zey sack it like Rome,
Six blocks are back in command.

When mobsters just can’t be coerced,
zey know how to make zem disperse.
Zey get zem all sick, brats laced with arsenic,
death by sausage, oh, it’s ze wurst.

Zey won’t rest till ze town is at ease,
and ze city is ridded of sleaze.
Till zen zey strap on ze heat, and hit ze street,
a new meaning to crazy cat ladies.

The Operator

the_operator_lady_daily_mobster_gangster_1920s_1930s_retro_telephone_character_design_illustrationThe Operator

(In the eye-rolling style of one-liners)

Just remember, she knows everyone’s business
Even if there is a busy-ness signal.

She once butted in on Judge Atticus‘ secret Birthday.
She used the party line.

The Operator has known the Judge’s schemes for a long time.
He’s a real phone-y.

The Mayor called from bed, under his sheets, to connect to his lawyer!
She thought it was a real cover up.

She’s been hearing the butcher, Little Bobby‘s voice for so long,
It was good to finally meat him.

Sometimes they struggle to repair the lines that Sue Spence damages,
it really gets down to the wire.

She even knew what kind of pants “Legs” LaVine wore,
Bell-bottoms, oh, but of course.

She hates calls from the barbers, Barry, Benny and Timmy,
They always cut her short.

Don’t get a snappy tone with her like “Snappy” Walker,
or you just might get a dial tone.

Guest Artist: Monster Mobster

Hey look, we have another guest artist! It has been ages since we last had Carlos R Gomez do Fish-Eyed Willie but now we are pleased to welcome Joshua Rhodes to the guest list!  He is a carpenter, furniture maker, painter, geometric genius and all around creative mind.

monster mobster furry muppet joshua rhodes sketchbookjack subtletakeover character design illustration

Monster Mobster

Working, smirking, always lurking

The Monster hides not far from sight.

Sneaking, creaking, sometimes peeking,

gives children and men, quite a fright.

He comes at night with a naughty plan,

the elusive, furry monster man,

 of robbing children of their dreams.

 thieving thoughts and scamming schemes.

Prying, spying, children crying,

he comes when all are asleep.

Suited, looted, the undisputed

fuzzy, dapper, nighttime thief.

He blends right in with teddy bears,

even with the three piece suit he wears.

Never seen and never caught,

in and out just like a thought.

Present, silent, but never violent,

he hides under the bed.

Calling, bawling, children stalling,

parents check the closet instead.

Writing by The Daily Mobster

Illustration and background wallpaper by Joshua Rhodes

Are you interested in submitting as a Guest Artist

or perhaps just some fan art? Please do so here!

Pierre “Pie” Pierce

Happy Pi Day

Pierre Pierce Pie Baker Character Illustration Design Mobster Gangster

Pierre “Pie” Pierce

Sing a song of sixpence,
a pocket full of rye.
three point one four inch saw,
baked in a pie.

When the pie was opened,
Inmates began to shout;
hacking at the jail bars,
sawing, breaking out.

The warden, in his office,
sleeping all the day;
till alarms went ringing,
they ran to get away.

Sing a song of six men,
running for their lives,
with the help from a baker,
who sent them several knives.

The baker is off baking,
a P.I. showed at his door,
asking lots of questions,
on and on, forever more.

Packing up the truck,
apple, plum and grape
off to county prison,
to plan the next escape.

Carry pies carefully,
wipes his glasses clear.
Stands up straight and tall,
and puts on his face of cheer.

The baker meets the guard,
with a glimmer in his eye,
I’ll ask you once again, Sir,
What is in the pie?

Illustration Friday: “Eye Glasses”

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