B.B. Booker

B.B. Booker

It’s no science, but rather an art
adjusting figures to give a head start
zero here and there
and a few grand to spare
but his tactics, he’ll never impart.

The books he’ll carefully revise
so the tax man is no more the wise
through the books, he pores
some ones are now fours
the illegal, is now legalized

the accounting is clean front to back
and better yet, it’s impossible to track
the figures improved
a page is removed
and like that, from the red to the black.

The Earl of Grey

Earl of Grey

Peering down from his castle on the hill,
The Earl of Grey heats a tea refill.
When money runs old and money runs deep,
he’s all the time needed for the tea to steep.

Puff puff, from the old cigar,
a royal boss, a king, a czar

No longer bothered with petty street crimes,
no thugs, no violence, oh those were the times.
An army of pawns, work like a game of chess,
he can just snap, and they clean up the mess.

Puff puff, from the old cigar,
pass the champagne and the caviar.

An empire of violence and crime at his feet,
it ensues on the street while he sits in his suite.
But when looking for clues, his payroll’s his muse,
to polish and buff any trace from his shoes.

Puff puff, from the old cigar,
will probably write his on memoir.

Smiley Carlo

Guest Artist: Eduardo Vieira

Eduardo Vieira’s stories continue at The Daily Mobster. Remember, if you haven’t found his great work already be sure to find him on Instagram, Blogger, Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter.

Smiley Carlo
(In the style of a limerick)

Carlo was just a hobo and a thug,
Around town, just a forgettable mug.
Came the day when he crossed ole’ Duke
who sent out his dogs in a spook,
To crush down Carlo like a bug.

Duke showed Carlo who wears the crown.
Now, get out from this side of town!
But Carlo put up a fight,
gathered thugs in the night.
And went to go take Duke down.

Carlo thought he caught Duke off his guard,
but as soon as he got on Duke’s yard
Big Joe beat him all to bits,
with a knife, cut up his lips
and left Carlo nasty and scarred.

Now Carlo is forever in a smile,
he’s become vengeful, wicked and vile
He has started a war
to settle the score,
and take down Duke in style.

Duke

Guest Artist: Eduardo Vieira

We are excited to feature the amazing work of Eduardo Vieira on The Daily Mobster. He has generously supplied more than one mobster of his own design, so stay tuned for the continuing story that unfolds between his characters. If you haven’t found him already be sure to find him on Instagram, Blogger, Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter.

Duke

The king, the boss, Don of the east end.

He’s a devil in disguise, and no one’s friend.

Nothing gets by him; everyone gets harassed,

Duke’s not someone to meet at breakfast.

He does what he wants and takes what he needs,

nearly the whole town is down on their knees.

There is one person that stands in his path,

Smiley Carlo, fights back to his wrath.

No need to be a genius, see what Duke wants most:

Wipe Carlo off the map of the east side coast.

Back and forth, the two wage war,

Gaining territory, door by door.

Illustration and story idea by Eduardo Vieira

Writing/Rhyming by The Daily Mobster

Frank “Flat Top” Stein

Frank “Flat Top” Stein

Somewhere between midnight and morning
lurks a looming, lumbering giant.
Following a noise that cannot escape,
to the sound, he creeps, so reliant.

Searching the night for the music he hears,
he won’t stop ’till he puts it to rest.
Pounding the things that gets in his way,
not level-headed, and far too obsessed.

The musical murderer has arrived.
Yes! Yes! It’s alive!

Is he a man or is he monster?
He has hardly a brain in that head.
But one thing’s for sure, he’s an angry one,
watch out, or soon you’ll be dead.

Don’t sing, and certainly don’t hum
hide, run for cover, quick get in.
One thing’s for sure, don’t sit by the well,
and never, play violin.

The musical murderer has arrived.
Yes! Yes! It’s alive!

The rumor ’bout him is quite grimm.
They say that a mad man built him,
from bits and parts that they stole from the morgue.
Put in a brain, and stitched on his limbs.

No matter the story, just beware.
His face is all over the news.
If you see him, report him, and try to thwart him,
his sanity’s only held on by screws.

The musical murderer has arrived.
Yes! Yes! It’s alive!

The Invisible Man

The Invisible Man

Is he real or is it mass hysteria?
Jewelers, traders and bank tellers
claim to have seen him in the area.
Beware you buyers and sellers.

Sixteen banks were robbed at gunpoint
all by a nobody, wearing a moustache.
Jewelers say he was casing the joint,
then thieving gold, silver and cash.

One has to wonder when your name implies,
that you are indeed, actually transparent
why you would have to wear a disguise.
That just seems incoherent.

Is it then fair, for one to conclude,
aside from the furry nose glass
that you rob the banks in the nude?
Sure a good thing we can’t see your….

I’m not sure which is better
for the front page fodder:
Are you The Invisible Swindler
or the Full Moon Marauder?

For Illustration Friday’s Topic: Moustache

“Bubbles The Snitch”

“Bubbles The Snitch”
(In the style of a commercial jingle)

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Oh “Bubbles,” you’re such a rotter.
How’s it down there in the water?

You and your brothers
are quite the bothers.
All you stool pigeons
must pay for your sins.
It’s not so nice
to tattle to vice,
now you ain’t got no brass
to cover your ass.

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Bet you are hoping for wishes,
How is it sleeping with the fishes?

You’re  in such a snitching rut,
can’t just keep it shut?
It’s ok, it’s no sweat.
Everyone will soon forget.
No protection and no fame,
we’ll even have to change your name.
They’ll never know if you were poor or rich,
only that you were “Bubbles The Snitch”

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Snitch snitch, what a snake,
how’s the bottom of the lake?

For Illustration Friday’s: Under Water

When Pigs Fly

“When Pigs Fly”
(The Style of a Hyper Race Announcer)

And here we go folks, the final lap!
In the lead is It’s A Trap.
Oh Hell Yes is in second place,
Is This Rigged? will make this a close race.

Who’s The Boss is trampling past Paid Off,
making it uncomfortable for To The Left And Cough.
Oh folks! Your Mama Can’t Dance,
you better believe, here comes Fat Chance.

Bringing up the back we got Sleeps With Fishes,
Put those hands together, You Got Three Wishes.
Hope you didn’t put your money on this last guy
slogging behind is When Pigs Fly.

Betting odds are eight hundred to one,
 When Pigs Fly is surely done!
But wait, what’s this, it cannot be!
Your Mama Can’t Dance, she’s got a broken knee!

When Pigs Fly, he Got Three Wishes,
Past Chance, Cough, and Sleeps With Fishes!
This is crazy, it’s the pony express!
Is This Rigged?, Oh Hell Yes!

Can You believe it, eight hundred to one?
Can you believe that jockey just won?
Someone is rich, and now many will cry.
Man oh man, When Pigs Fly.

“The Barman”

“The Barman”

Coming into town from far around,
all the folks, both clean and sleazy,
Barman, pour another round!
This is a speakeasy, so shhh, speak easy.

Hope you know the password here,
don’t form any lines outside.
Wines, spirits, tonics, beers,
but only if you can get inside.

The bouncer, bar tender, the cigarette vendor,
he’s a one stop libations compound.
When laws are passed that make him an offender,
they take their operation underground.

So drink and be merry, but no need to riot
so check your weapons at the door.
Enjoy, but speak easy, so keep it quiet.
Psst, Barman, can I have another pour?

Kirk Robin

Kirk Robin

(In the style of an interrogation)

Who killed Kirk Robin? I, said Harold “The Head”
I bashed him, bashed him dead. I killed Kirk Robin

Who saw him die? I, said “Fraidy” Freddy.
Wait, not Again, I’m not ready. Nevermind, I didn’t see him die.

Who’ll be the clerk? I, said Detective Burkes.
If I don’t have to work, I’ll be the clerk.

Who’ll sing the psalm? We, said the Quartet of three.
We’ll sing it beneath the willow tree.We will sing the psalm.

Who will dig the grave? I, said the “Rat”.
In my grave digger hat.  I will dig the grave.

(Bridge)

Wait, is he alive? I think I saw that greaser drive!

I saw him, I did, unless that was “Sidecar” Sid.

So is he alive, or is he dead?  Were you lying, Harold “The Head”?

(Closing)

Who knows Kirk Robin?
I, said the Ghost.
He’s toast.
I know Kirk Robin.