Lew Gordon

Lew Gordon: Private Eye
(In the style of a film noir limerick)

He hides behind the tree in the park,
lurks in the shadows and the dark,
following at night,
he stays out of sight,
and he never even leaves a mark.

He’s become the master of disguise,
the privatest of private eyes.
Quick-change like chameleon,
speaks Italian and Korean.
The silent, slickest spy of spies.

Sewing trenchcoats to fit in,
of wallpaper, wood or tin,
hides in the fog,
or dressed as a dog
he has even painted his skin.

So when you feel someone’s  in your midst
know that Lew Gordon exists.
It’s not a mirage,
he’s in camouflage,
And now you’re on his watch list.

The Ghost of Jacob Mobster

The Ghost of Jacob Mobster

(In the style of a pompous Englishman)

Chains were rattling, on Christmas Eve night.

A ghost was to come and give quite a fright.

Carrying the weight for all of his crimes,

punished as a ghost, forever, all times.

To warn all the crooks, thieves and burg-lars.

and tell the story of a life behind bars.

Screaming, wailing, crying in the street,

hoping that no one would be his repeat.

No robbing, no stealing, extortion no more,

or pain and suffering would be in store.

While families all gather, in peace for one night

a repentant reminder, he’s just out of sight.

While Santa brings gifts to good kids on his list,

Jacob clutches the naughties, tight in his fist.

His chains are dragging, marking the snow,

to remind us, he came, he hopes we all know.

Ray Gunn

Special Agent Ray Gunn

(In an alliterative alternating alphabetical style)

The administer of audits to

astronautical aberrant assemblies.

Beware, bad beings!  Blasting boundaries

by breaking up brigades of bandits.

Conducting cross-examinations, convinced

of cosmological criminal conspiracies.

The Directing Detective, at the

Department of Dendrochronological Dissonance,

eagerly explores extralegal extraterrestrials

 as the egalitarian, earthling exponent.

Fiercely foraging the future for

felonious, futuristic fugitives,

he gratefully gathers the goods on

greedy, galactic gangsters.

Hopefully, helping harmony here, from

horrible hypothetical hooligans.

He is: Special Agent Ray Gunn.

Specially designed for the Ray Gun illustration blog.

Sue Spence

Sue Spence

“Shh,” she says softly.

Snappy suspenders skillfully suspend Sue Spence.

Secretly, she steals someone’s stuff.

Sue Spence swipes. Sue snatches.

Sue scrounges.  Sue sacks.

Surprisingly, six savvy spies squandered

six seasons surveying Sue’s semblance.

Sue sidestepped seven strapping soldiers.

She skirted sixteen slick, sly sleuths.

Surveying several surrounding suburbs,

Sue swings, seamlessly, scouting susceptible suckers.

Such suspense!

Thank you, Illustration Friday for the wonderful idea: “Suspense”