The Earl of Grey

Earl of Grey

Peering down from his castle on the hill,
The Earl of Grey heats a tea refill.
When money runs old and money runs deep,
he’s all the time needed for the tea to steep.

Puff puff, from the old cigar,
a royal boss, a king, a czar

No longer bothered with petty street crimes,
no thugs, no violence, oh those were the times.
An army of pawns, work like a game of chess,
he can just snap, and they clean up the mess.

Puff puff, from the old cigar,
pass the champagne and the caviar.

An empire of violence and crime at his feet,
it ensues on the street while he sits in his suite.
But when looking for clues, his payroll’s his muse,
to polish and buff any trace from his shoes.

Puff puff, from the old cigar,
will probably write his on memoir.

Lew Gordon

Lew Gordon: Private Eye
(In the style of a film noir limerick)

He hides behind the tree in the park,
lurks in the shadows and the dark,
following at night,
he stays out of sight,
and he never even leaves a mark.

He’s become the master of disguise,
the privatest of private eyes.
Quick-change like chameleon,
speaks Italian and Korean.
The silent, slickest spy of spies.

Sewing trenchcoats to fit in,
of wallpaper, wood or tin,
hides in the fog,
or dressed as a dog
he has even painted his skin.

So when you feel someone’s  in your midst
know that Lew Gordon exists.
It’s not a mirage,
he’s in camouflage,
And now you’re on his watch list.

Edgar “The Egg” Egmond

Edgar “Egg” Egmond

(In the alliterative key of E)

Every evil event expects exoneration.

Enter: Edgar “Egg” Egmond.

Exactingly, elegantly, erasing evidence,

evaluating, expunging every entry,

Edgar elicits eventual extenuation.

Escaping extraditions, eschewing edicts,

even evading examining experts.

Effectively, efficiently, expertly,

“Egghead Edgar” exempts everyone.

Ex-cons, evildoers, enduring endless

exposition, eventually evade enforcement,

egregiously eluding examination.

Exit: Edgar, effortlessly.