B.B. Booker

B.B. Booker

It’s no science, but rather an art
adjusting figures to give a head start
zero here and there
and a few grand to spare
but his tactics, he’ll never impart.

The books he’ll carefully revise
so the tax man is no more the wise
through the books, he pores
some ones are now fours
the illegal, is now legalized

the accounting is clean front to back
and better yet, it’s impossible to track
the figures improved
a page is removed
and like that, from the red to the black.

Smiley Carlo

Guest Artist: Eduardo Vieira

Eduardo Vieira’s stories continue at The Daily Mobster. Remember, if you haven’t found his great work already be sure to find him on Instagram, Blogger, Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter.

Smiley Carlo
(In the style of a limerick)

Carlo was just a hobo and a thug,
Around town, just a forgettable mug.
Came the day when he crossed ole’ Duke
who sent out his dogs in a spook,
To crush down Carlo like a bug.

Duke showed Carlo who wears the crown.
Now, get out from this side of town!
But Carlo put up a fight,
gathered thugs in the night.
And went to go take Duke down.

Carlo thought he caught Duke off his guard,
but as soon as he got on Duke’s yard
Big Joe beat him all to bits,
with a knife, cut up his lips
and left Carlo nasty and scarred.

Now Carlo is forever in a smile,
he’s become vengeful, wicked and vile
He has started a war
to settle the score,
and take down Duke in style.

Duke

Guest Artist: Eduardo Vieira

We are excited to feature the amazing work of Eduardo Vieira on The Daily Mobster. He has generously supplied more than one mobster of his own design, so stay tuned for the continuing story that unfolds between his characters. If you haven’t found him already be sure to find him on Instagram, Blogger, Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter.

Duke

The king, the boss, Don of the east end.

He’s a devil in disguise, and no one’s friend.

Nothing gets by him; everyone gets harassed,

Duke’s not someone to meet at breakfast.

He does what he wants and takes what he needs,

nearly the whole town is down on their knees.

There is one person that stands in his path,

Smiley Carlo, fights back to his wrath.

No need to be a genius, see what Duke wants most:

Wipe Carlo off the map of the east side coast.

Back and forth, the two wage war,

Gaining territory, door by door.

Illustration and story idea by Eduardo Vieira

Writing/Rhyming by The Daily Mobster

“Bubbles The Snitch”

“Bubbles The Snitch”
(In the style of a commercial jingle)

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Oh “Bubbles,” you’re such a rotter.
How’s it down there in the water?

You and your brothers
are quite the bothers.
All you stool pigeons
must pay for your sins.
It’s not so nice
to tattle to vice,
now you ain’t got no brass
to cover your ass.

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Bet you are hoping for wishes,
How is it sleeping with the fishes?

You’re  in such a snitching rut,
can’t just keep it shut?
It’s ok, it’s no sweat.
Everyone will soon forget.
No protection and no fame,
we’ll even have to change your name.
They’ll never know if you were poor or rich,
only that you were “Bubbles The Snitch”

Plop, plop, fizz fizz,
You’s in trouble, yes you is.
Snitch snitch, what a snake,
how’s the bottom of the lake?

For Illustration Friday’s: Under Water

Lew Gordon

Lew Gordon: Private Eye
(In the style of a film noir limerick)

He hides behind the tree in the park,
lurks in the shadows and the dark,
following at night,
he stays out of sight,
and he never even leaves a mark.

He’s become the master of disguise,
the privatest of private eyes.
Quick-change like chameleon,
speaks Italian and Korean.
The silent, slickest spy of spies.

Sewing trenchcoats to fit in,
of wallpaper, wood or tin,
hides in the fog,
or dressed as a dog
he has even painted his skin.

So when you feel someone’s  in your midst
know that Lew Gordon exists.
It’s not a mirage,
he’s in camouflage,
And now you’re on his watch list.

“The Barman”

“The Barman”

Coming into town from far around,
all the folks, both clean and sleazy,
Barman, pour another round!
This is a speakeasy, so shhh, speak easy.

Hope you know the password here,
don’t form any lines outside.
Wines, spirits, tonics, beers,
but only if you can get inside.

The bouncer, bar tender, the cigarette vendor,
he’s a one stop libations compound.
When laws are passed that make him an offender,
they take their operation underground.

So drink and be merry, but no need to riot
so check your weapons at the door.
Enjoy, but speak easy, so keep it quiet.
Psst, Barman, can I have another pour?

Kirk Robin

Kirk Robin

(In the style of an interrogation)

Who killed Kirk Robin? I, said Harold “The Head”
I bashed him, bashed him dead. I killed Kirk Robin

Who saw him die? I, said “Fraidy” Freddy.
Wait, not Again, I’m not ready. Nevermind, I didn’t see him die.

Who’ll be the clerk? I, said Detective Burkes.
If I don’t have to work, I’ll be the clerk.

Who’ll sing the psalm? We, said the Quartet of three.
We’ll sing it beneath the willow tree.We will sing the psalm.

Who will dig the grave? I, said the “Rat”.
In my grave digger hat.  I will dig the grave.

(Bridge)

Wait, is he alive? I think I saw that greaser drive!

I saw him, I did, unless that was “Sidecar” Sid.

So is he alive, or is he dead?  Were you lying, Harold “The Head”?

(Closing)

Who knows Kirk Robin?
I, said the Ghost.
He’s toast.
I know Kirk Robin.

Dinah Mite

Dinah Mite

(In the style of a commercial jingle)

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The loudest member of the gang.

When the vault needs opening,
just give her a shout.
When you see her spark the string,
everyone get out!

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The fiery lady in the gang.

A distraction from the cops,
up in flames and smoke.
The cops, they drop, when they hear the pops,
it’s the perfect hiding cloak.

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The loose cannon in the gang.

But once she fought with the boss,
he told her what to do.
Dinah is no the one to cross,
their relationship is through.

Pop, pop, bang, bang!
Boss will never again harangue.
Pop, pop, bang, bang!
The loudest member of the gang.

For Illustration Friday: Spark

Frau Katze

Frau Katze
(In the style of a Hogan’s Hero)

As ze mob takes over ze city,
up pops a defense committee.
in spite of ze smite, zey take up ze fight,
und vow to show zem no pity.

Hauser Street is ze old lady’s club,
Watch out! Get down! Hind ze shrub!
She’s a pouncing cougar, ready with her Luger,
find another way home from ze pub.

Ze members of ze group all have cats,
wartime weapons, outfits und hats.
Dressed to ze nines, on ze front lines,
defending zeir houses und flats.

Ze Katze Club moves in on ze land,
it’s going according to plan.
When no one is home, zey sack it like Rome,
Six blocks are back in command.

When mobsters just can’t be coerced,
zey know how to make zem disperse.
Zey get zem all sick, brats laced with arsenic,
death by sausage, oh, it’s ze wurst.

Zey won’t rest till ze town is at ease,
and ze city is ridded of sleaze.
Till zen zey strap on ze heat, and hit ze street,
a new meaning to crazy cat ladies.

Rhett Stetson

Rhett Stetson

(In the style of a folk ballad story)

Once you leave town and head to the west
You best know you’re puttin’, life to the test.
Crossing over, the highway nine
deep in the country, past the pines.
Watch out boys, when you hear that gun,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson.

Ain’t no laws, ain’t no rules,
do as he says, son, don’t be a fool.
Give him yer cash, give her liquor,
or you’ll be gone, quicker than a flicker.
Once he’s done here, get on the run,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson.

Pay up the toll for crossing his road,
hell, just for bein’ in his postal code.
open the trunk, better let him inspect,
is there anything he’d like to collect?
Alright, oh-kay, we’re almost done,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson.

You can cry, whelp, even harangue
but at the end of the day, he took every-thang.
Now, don’t you think to try and tattle,
he’s got all them cops, rounded up like cattle.
Alright git goin’, ride to the sun,
fore you just met, Rhett Stetson