Smiley Carlo

Guest Artist: Eduardo Vieira

Eduardo Vieira’s stories continue at The Daily Mobster. Remember, if you haven’t found his great work already be sure to find him on Instagram, Blogger, Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter.

Smiley Carlo
(In the style of a limerick)

Carlo was just a hobo and a thug,
Around town, just a forgettable mug.
Came the day when he crossed ole’ Duke
who sent out his dogs in a spook,
To crush down Carlo like a bug.

Duke showed Carlo who wears the crown.
Now, get out from this side of town!
But Carlo put up a fight,
gathered thugs in the night.
And went to go take Duke down.

Carlo thought he caught Duke off his guard,
but as soon as he got on Duke’s yard
Big Joe beat him all to bits,
with a knife, cut up his lips
and left Carlo nasty and scarred.

Now Carlo is forever in a smile,
he’s become vengeful, wicked and vile
He has started a war
to settle the score,
and take down Duke in style.

Frank “Flat Top” Stein

Frank “Flat Top” Stein

Somewhere between midnight and morning
lurks a looming, lumbering giant.
Following a noise that cannot escape,
to the sound, he creeps, so reliant.

Searching the night for the music he hears,
he won’t stop ’till he puts it to rest.
Pounding the things that gets in his way,
not level-headed, and far too obsessed.

The musical murderer has arrived.
Yes! Yes! It’s alive!

Is he a man or is he monster?
He has hardly a brain in that head.
But one thing’s for sure, he’s an angry one,
watch out, or soon you’ll be dead.

Don’t sing, and certainly don’t hum
hide, run for cover, quick get in.
One thing’s for sure, don’t sit by the well,
and never, play violin.

The musical murderer has arrived.
Yes! Yes! It’s alive!

The rumor ’bout him is quite grimm.
They say that a mad man built him,
from bits and parts that they stole from the morgue.
Put in a brain, and stitched on his limbs.

No matter the story, just beware.
His face is all over the news.
If you see him, report him, and try to thwart him,
his sanity’s only held on by screws.

The musical murderer has arrived.
Yes! Yes! It’s alive!

“The Barman”

“The Barman”

Coming into town from far around,
all the folks, both clean and sleazy,
Barman, pour another round!
This is a speakeasy, so shhh, speak easy.

Hope you know the password here,
don’t form any lines outside.
Wines, spirits, tonics, beers,
but only if you can get inside.

The bouncer, bar tender, the cigarette vendor,
he’s a one stop libations compound.
When laws are passed that make him an offender,
they take their operation underground.

So drink and be merry, but no need to riot
so check your weapons at the door.
Enjoy, but speak easy, so keep it quiet.
Psst, Barman, can I have another pour?

The Operator

The Operator

(In the eye-rolling style of one-liners)

Just remember, she knows everyone’s business
Even if there is a busy-ness signal.

She once butted in on Judge Atticus‘ secret Birthday.
She used the party line.

The Operator has known the Judge’s schemes for a long time.
He’s a real phone-y.

The Mayor called from bed, under his sheets, to connect to his lawyer!
She thought it was a real cover up.

She’s been hearing the butcher, Little Bobby‘s voice for so long,
It was good to finally meat him.

Sometimes they struggle to repair the lines that Sue Spence damages,
it really gets down to the wire.

She even knew what kind of pants “Legs” LaVine wore,
Bell-bottoms, oh, but of course.

She hates calls from the barbers, Barry, Benny and Timmy,
They always cut her short.

Don’t get a snappy tone with her like “Snappy” Walker,
or you just might get a dial tone.

Lucca “Lucha” Libre

Lucca “Lucha” Libre

The masked man strikes again!

Extortion, robberies, and smuggling abound.

No one knows what he really looks like,

not even his mom!

(We know, we interrogated her.)

If you have seen this man, been robbed by this man,

or recently clothes-lined, flying monkeyed, or body slammed,

please contact local authorities immediately.

There has been a rash of sightings and it is unclear

if there is a mob of these men, or just one, changing masks.

Be on the look out for Lucha Libre wrestlers in your neighborhood.

Last seen wearing a white suit, black tie, a fedora

and a luchador mask.

We believe his name is Lucca. Lucca Libre.