The Milkman

The Milkman

Make sure to leave your empty bottles on the step,

or he will have to make a special, second visit.

Oh, and you butter rinse out them bottles, will ya, please?

Don’t fret with that old saying about running away with the milkman.

No running will be involved; he only drags people away.

His English is, how do you say, not so good.

I think he might be from MosCow.

Make sure you get plenty of fluids, and drink all that he leaves,

or there will be tears cried over spilled milk.

In fact, you might be buried in dirt pasteurize.

I don’t know if this milkman works for the mob,

but he sure ain’t like the udder ones.

(For Illustration Friday: “Fluid”)

“Newsie” Neil

“Newsie” Neil

Extra! Extra! Read all about it,

too much news for me to stand and shout it!

Scandals in politics, murders and crimes,

get it right here, this issue of the Times!

Mob bosses droppin’, the suspect’s still alive,

read all about it, right here on page five!

Comics and funnies, in full color print,

two full pages, worth your every cent!

Want ads are posting, classifieds abound,

hurry, get’m fast, not enough to go around!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it.

Hot pressed news and you won’t ever doubt it!

“The Wall”

“The Wall”

Ain’t no getting through this guy.

He’s the best bodyguard anyone has ever had

and he doesn’t even have to do anything, just stand there.

I have no idea where he buys his threads,

they must sew two bed sheets together.

If he is first in line at the coat check,

they close down after he leaves.

The boss once demanded to borrow his coat as a car cover.

The local tailor is the only person who knows his real name.

It’s loads of laughs watching him in a revolving door,

or an elevator, or getting in and out of cars.

But don’t laugh too loud; although those activities might

be hard for him to do, it is not that hard for him to get rid of you.

In fact, all he has to do is step in front of you.

Quincy Pid

Quincy Pid

Q. Pid seems to think he is a living incarnation of Eros.

He is either a complete genius for rigging up a Tommy gun

to fire handmade, custom carved, golden arrows or

Quincy is completely crazy for attempting to fly by

the wings of his bowler hat while leaping off buildings.

Today is his day, or at least he will try to make his day.

Keep an eye on the skies for chubby, flying, arrow-shooting UFOs.

Quincy is trying to give a new meaning to

the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre.

He has got plenty to go around, so whether you

want one or not, he’s coming for you.

Expect to hear about Q in the morning paper,

for what, is yet to be seen.

The Mayor

The Mayor

Oh, what a following you have!

You just keep getting reelected no matter who competes.

It’s almost like they just disappear off the face of the planet.

You must be so very popular, and completely unmatched.

Or at least your wallet is.

Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, what about the past

twenty seven mobsters that have run amok in Blogtown?

Won’t you do anything?

Oh yes, I forget, they made you mayor in the first place.

Silly me, you are popular.

Inspired by Illustration Friday’s topic : “Popularity”